Comparisons
(by request, my homily from Sunday)
Comparison is the thief of joy.
It is so easy to get bent out of shape, when you start comparing yourself to other people.
We all do it. Whether it’s somebody we grew up with, a relative, or just someone we know in passing, we all do it.
You and I look at what they’re doing and what they have. And without really thinking about what we’re doing to ourselves, we stack up what they’re doing and what they have, against what we’re doing and what we have.
They’re building a new house.
I’m fixing a leaky toilet.
They’ve got a new Mercedes.
Your F-150 is old enough to drive itself.
They’re going to the Mexican Riviera.
You and I are going to the County Fair.
Keep it up. And before we know it, we’re miserable.
Maybe we spend money we don’t have, trying to keep up. Maybe we resent them for their success.
How come I didn’t get the promotion? How come they hired her and not me? How come he gets all the breaks?
The thing is, it doesn’t matter how good you and I are doing. There will always be someone doing better than we are.
Someone who has more money. Or a better job. Or more talent. Or a nicer house. Or more opportunities. Or a newer car. Or more lucky breaks. Or cuter kids. Or a better education. Or more followers on social media.
Or whatever it takes to make you and me feel like we’re falling behind.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
And it’s exactly what St. Paul is talking about in today’s reading.
Look at the list, the list of all of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Nobody gets all of them. God gives each one of us different gifts.
If you’re looking at someone else’s gifts, how they’re using gifts that you don’t have, and saying “I wish I could do what they do” – you are setting yourself up to be miserable.
Those are their gifts. Not yours.
Now, if you’re looking at someone who has the same gifts as you, how they’re using gifts that you do have, and saying “I wish I could do what they do” – you are still setting yourself up to be miserable.
That’s what they have been called to do with those gifts. Not you.
I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with wanting to do more. Or wanting to do better.
There’s nothing wrong with having a vision, a dream. With having goals. With wanting to use what God has given to you. That’s why God gave them to you.
But your gifts, the gifts that God has given to you, they have to come first. Your vision, your dream, your goals need to be grounded in the gifts that God has given to you.
If it’s not, then you know it’s not from God.
Because God is not going to call you to do something, not without also giving you the gifts you need to do it.
How do you know what God is calling you to do?
For some of us, it can be one of those moments like St. Paul had on the road to Damascus. Clouds parting, blinding light, knocked to the ground moments. Where God’s like,
“Now that I have your attention, I’m going to tell you just how this goes. In words of one syllable. So even you can follow along.”
What if you haven’t one of those moments? What if God hasn’t knocked you to the ground and spelled it out for you? Does that mean God isn’t calling you to do something with the gifts He’s given you?
No. It just means that you’re not as much of a blockhead as St. Paul.
Understand that God is shameless. God will do what it takes to get through to you.
The fact that God hasn’t knocked you to the ground - yet - is a good sign.
So how do you find out what God is calling you to do? Without getting knocked to the ground?
Get in agreement with God.
Get in agreement with God by taking up your birthright, the birthright you received at your Baptism. The birthright of grace that God has prepared for each one of His children through the Sacraments.
Receive the grace of Reconciliation. Receive the grace of the Eucharist.
Grounded in the peace that only comes from God’s grace, like Samuel, say to God “speak Lord, your servant is listening.”
Then, grounded in God’s peace, listen from your heart. You won’t be disappointed.
Trust God to know His children.
God speaks to each of us in the way that we best can hear Him. And we hear Him best when we are in agreement with God, when we are in God’s peace.
If you’re bold enough to listen, God may give you the whole thing.
Or just the next step.
He may plant a deep desire in you to take on something that seems way too big.
Or a sudden impulse to do something that seems very small.
Then what? Then, as Mary says in today’s Gospel, “Do whatever He tells you.”
This, beloved, is how the world changes. This is where saints come from.
Not when somebody else does something. Not when things get better. Not when something happens somewhere else.
But when you “Do whatever He tells you.”
When you do. When you start using, really using, the gifts that God has given to you. To do the things that God has called you to do. The things that only you can do.
“Do whatever He tells you.”
When you do, it will change you.
And you will change the world.
Read More