Right before I started the permanent deacon program, I flew into Chicago. I had my application ready to turn in, but I was holding on to it. I ended up seated next to one of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal.
He knew he was supposed to talk to me. I did too. We ended up talking about (no surprise) my vocation. The part that matters went something like this.
I don't know if I can do this.
Every day, you start over from nothing. And then you choose. To go with God, or do it your way. Only one of them works.
That was 5 years ago. But it all came back to me as I read the letter from my Bishop, calling me to Holy Orders. Ordination is 2 months away, and there's only one way that works.