And then you choose

Right before I started the permanent deacon program, I flew into Chicago.  I had my application ready to turn in, but I was holding on to it.  I ended up seated next to one of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal.  

He knew he was supposed to talk to me.  I did too.  We ended up talking about (no surprise) my vocation.  The part that matters went something like this.

    I don't know if I can do this.

You can't.  

    What? 

Every day, you start over from nothing.  And then you choose.  To go with God, or do it your way.  Only one of them works. 

That was 5 years ago.  But it all came back to me as I read the letter from my Bishop, calling me to Holy Orders.  Ordination is 2 months away, and there's only one way that works.